Thoughts on Beloved

For a wrap to the semester, we’ve been reading Toni Morrison’s Beloved. This story has been a ride of emotions for me, and based on the in class discussions I’ve been present for, most people would agree. This novel has so much little detail, plot twist and turns, various characters that you are really taken for a ride with the narrative. The ending of the book makes me realize what a good way it is to conclude our semester.


When we begin the book, Morrison sets us up for almost all we need to know about Sethe and her family. We know their home, their current situation and perception by the community. Based on what we’ve read here, the story doesn’t seem to have much going on. But as the characters develop and the details come in, we learn a lot about the types of serious experiences these characters have had to overcome. Paul D has experienced many harsh realities of life on Sweet Home, and the same with Sethe. On the other hand, Denver’s apparent emotional dependency is most likely due to the life her mother provided for her. All in all we see the ways that living together in 124 molds these characters together. In addition to that Beloved’s presence in the house makes it clear that they can never really escape the past or each other. They will forever be interlinked.


Now that the book has come to a close one of the most interesting literary decisions that Morrison makes is revealing Sethe’s truth. Because we start the book with such admiring and supportive feelings for Sethe. I see her as a strong mother figure who because of her circumstances is doing what she can to love and protect Denver (and in some ways the spirit of Beloved as well). When we find out that Sethe is responsible for the death of her child it is shocking, and difficult to easily comprehend. As we learn in the text, her decision to do it was out of love. She makes the ultimate sacrifice for her daughter to ensure she won't live a life anything like hers, on a plantation. In some ways this seems like the most selfless thing a mother can do. On the other hand, who gives Sethe the right to make that choice? The townspeople wonder what gives Sethe the boldness to make such a choice and live with it honorably. These questions aren't easy to answer, and I think that is purposeful on Morrison’s part. She very well describes the complexity of the feelings Sethe felt and the way she acted. In many ways it is clear Sethe really isn't over her past. The presence of Beloved’s suffering alone shows that she is still holding on to the pain of her choice. In addition, she almost dies at the amount of pressure put upon her by Beloved. I think this shows how much that effect still holds a handle on her even after her confession. Overall this was a great novel, with many interesting topics open for discussion. I am glad that this incredible work by Morrison was our final text of this class.

TW: White Boy Shuffle Suicide Commentary

Finishing up Paul Beatty’s White Boy Shuffle I am nothing but impressed. The last few chapters really come to a closing, a lot of time has passed and many things have happened but the flow stays the same. And despite the fact that the final scenes of the book may be seen as depressing or completely hopeless, Beatty continues using his witty banter all the way to the end.

In our final class discussion for the book, we discussed the final chapter and more specifically the final pages of the novel in detail. A couple years have passed since Scoby’s suicide and Gunnar’s subsequent attempt. Despite the mass of suicides and scheduled bombing of Hillside, Gunnar’s life seems somehow positive. He is married to Yoshiko, they have their daughter Naomi, and Psycho Loco often comes to visit. It seems like Gunnar is living this relatively laid back “happy family life”. When Psycho Loco asks him about suicide though, Gunnar is still adamant about his stance on it. He explains to Psycho Loco and the reporter earlier on, that suicide isn’t just giving up and quitting life. That’s the “western” idea of suicide as Gunnar puts it, but his suicide isn’t that. I would describe it as an act to pull himself out of his torture. If life is your hell, the idea of going to hell can’t seem that bad right?

Gunnar describes himself as the horse that pulls the stagecoach, he is always pulling the burden of everyone else along. If any of you remember from US history, for me this idea evokes images of the Reconstruction, “This is a White Man’s Government” cartoon we discussed in class. The black man in this image is being stepped on, and broken down by the white man and the white man’s government. What I mean by this is, even if the white man doesn’t literally step on the black man, with his power in controlling the government and legislature he will always crush the black man in the end. This cartoon though drawn in 1868 is relevant, Gunnar’s feels like he has always played that role. Suicide is the only way that Gunnar sees these crippling pressures arise from off of him.

            If we look at Scoby’s case, he decides to commit suicide at a time where he is completely overwhelmed by his feelings. Despite Gunnar’s help, Scoby realizes through Gunnar’s philosophy that it was his time to set himself free. Scoby didn’t have a lot to lose (although I’d hardly say any life is more quantifiable than another) in comparison to Gunnar, so we see his death slightly differently. Most significant I think, is the note he left behind. The note is purely for Gunnar, his best friend. I think suicides notes often have a negative connotation, that the victim is attempting to get some acknowledgement or attention. In this case it is clear that Scoby doesn’t really care about anyone else, he cares for Gunnar (as well as Yoshiko and Psycho Loco) and wants to say his one last farewell to the people he knows. His ending of the letter where he says he is waiting for Gunnar up there one day, I think is especially meaningful. Moving onto Gunnar’s attempt to suicide I think the readers find him position different than Scoby’s. Because of his fame, his voice, it seems that he has a lot to lose if he dies. But to Gunnar it is fairly obvious that it doesn’t mean anything to him.  Basketball clearly isn’t on his priority list, and writing his poems is personal, for him and not for anyone else (even though others are inspired by it). Gunnar knows that the people closest to him Yoshiko, Psycho Loco, his mom, would understand if he needed to commit suicide. The only thing that pulls him out of the water, is the idea of seeing his daughter grow up. Gunnar in this moment at least, is willing to sacrifice his freedom to for his child.

Playing the Dozens

Why That Abbott and Costello Vaudeville Mess Never Worked with Black People

By Paul Beatty

who’s on first?

i don’t know, your mama

Beginning Paul Beatty’s The White Boy Shuffle we see that Gunner’s character takes a slightly different route than the voices of the protagonists we have heard so far. Gunner is funny, he also uses sarcasm in very divisive ways. Often Gunner makes light of things that we find uncomfortable, we as readers find ourselves unsure whether or not to laugh. I think Gunner’s use of laughter is connected to what we’ve discussed in Invisible Man. The Narrator often used laughter uncomfortably as well, he laughed at things that weren’t funny and that’s what made him “crazy”. I think this laughter that we see is in some ways a coping mechanism used by these protagonists to deal with the harsh realities they are facing.

“Playing the dozens” as we briefly discussed in reading Invisible Man is another way of describing this use of joking, laughter that we see often in the black community. If you don’t know, it is basically a game of insults that goes back and forth until one person quits. Despite the obvious idea that insults are mean, they actually bring people closer together. A good “roast” can actually be the fire to kindle a new friendship. I think the relationship we see with Gunner and Scoby where they relate to each other in what may seem slightly unconventional ways.

I think the use of laughter in these two novels is very similar. They both bring up the ideas of discomfort, laughter at the expense of a person or a situation. The types of lives that our protagonists experience aren’t funny or easy. But in Gunner’s case his humor is what makes him happy, what helps him to cope with the issues that he won’t let boil up inside of him. For the Narrator, in his mind his sanity is actually proven when he can laugh through the injustice he sees.

Dontrell, Who Kissed the Sea by Nathan Alan Davis

Last week I got the opportunity to visit Krannert for a performance of a show, Dontrell, Who Kissed the Sea.The show was about a young boy named Dontrell who lived in Maryland. The first scene opens as Dontrell awakes from a dream where he sees his ancestor jumping to his death off of a slave ship. The story startles him, but he is desperate to find out more about this ancestor and this story. He goes to his family, his newfound lover, and finally to the sea to find out the significance of his dream and his family history.

After the show, I was so impressed by the performance of the actors. I felt that their lives were real, and that I had seen a live reenactment of a true story. The actors put so much emotion and feeling into their performance and that is what I think made the story so inspiring to me. While watching the performance, I noticed the contemporary play actually had a lot of similarities to things I read in Invisible Man. The writer of the play, Nathan Alan Davis is known for his philosophical, and creative works. This possibly being the reason I find similarities between his and Ralph Ellison’s works. The first similarity I noticed was in Dontrell. He was searching for his ancestor and this reminded me of the Yam scene in Invisible Man. As the Narrator finds his roots he is able to feel this sense of freedom and connection to people who came before him. Dontrell’s story is centered around finding these roots, figuring out what kind of impact they will have on his life. For Dontrell’s grandfather, his connection to these same ancestors is what got him put into an insane asylum. But when Dontrell sees his dream, and the writings his grandfather left behind he believes fully in the story of his lost ancestor. This idea also related to Ellison’s ideas of insanity. When we met the Vet in Invisible Man, to the reader, he seems more than sane, he seems almost enlightened. But to the Narrator, he is “crazy” because that makes it easier to ignore what the Vet is saying. For Dontrell’s father, he refuses to talk about his father, in his eyes his father was just a crazy man with a dream. But for Dontrell, he sees the same thing reflected in himself as his Grandfather. This in turn also brings into question both of their sanities. The exception for Dontrell is that he has been accepted to Stanford on a full ride, so his education makes his insanity more credible. Though in the case of the Vet, his being a remarkable doctor will never take away the fact that he is considered insane. The paradoxes and similarities seen between the two stories I find very captivating. Though I can’t say for sure, I would guess that Davis pulls some of his ideas from reading the works of famous authors like Ellison when he develops his script. In the case of Dontrell, Who Kissed the Sea, I was very impressed by the narrative, and the performance of the show.

I Yam What I Yam!

Specifically looking at the yam seller scene in Invisible Man I think Ellison develops the Narrator’s character significantly. Immediately before running into the yam seller the Narrator walks down the street seeing references to religion intermixed with racist advertisements. His reaction to such advertisements make extremely angry, he is looking for ways to ignore this feeling when he sees the yam man by his wagon. When the Narrator smells the yams he feels this nostalgia to his home in the South. This is strange for the Narrator, because his typical recollections of home are connected to a sense of shame or forgotten memories. Here we see him embracing his nostalgia.

At the corner the old man, wrapped in an army overcoat, his feet covered with gunny sacks, his head in a knitted cap, was puttering with a stack of paper bags. I saw a crude sign on the side of the wagon proclaiming YAMS...

This quote goes into detail about the yam seller himself. Though it may seem small, this description is very important. From the quote we can tell the yam seller is a poor man, wearing an old coat, burlap sacks as shoes. The Narrator we know has typically accustomed himself to stray away from the black people like “this” because of he is ashamed of being grouped together with them. In addition, the cart says in big letters “YAMS” allowing whoever is around him to know exactly what he is purchasing. Looking back at the scene in the restaurant, the Narrator doesn’t want anyone to link him to his southern roots. But by going up to the yam man, anyone around would know what he was buying, subsequently admitting his roots.

            “Never mind the bag, I’m going to eat it.  Here....”

            Typically, when eating a food you would associate with shame you would take it to go, save it for the privacy of your home. By eating the yam in the street the narrator is outwardly accepting any shame that may come his way for embracing his southern background. The seller even admits to the seller than many of his customers take home their yams, and use “their own butter”. Which I think is a reference to this idea they are “too good” to be buying from the poor seller and ashamed to embrace their connection with both the seller and his product.

            The narrator describes how the yam makes him feel free. Previously we have seen him withhold his appetite to fit the “ideal look” he believes he needs to fulfill. But here we see the narrator is accepting himself in one of the most natural ways. The narrator describes the humiliation that can be felt only by indulging the things you love. I think that almost everyone can relate to this in some way, often times I’ve been at a family gathering and I feel too ashamed to dance with my parents. But I think on a deeper level, culture can play a big role in these feelings of shame. For me, I know that I have to censor myself when talking about the things I love. For the longest time I wouldn’t eat watermelon. I was able to convince myself and others that I didn’t like it. But what I really didn’t like was the stereotypes this simple fruit carried upon it.  Admitting how much I really do enjoy Popeye’s chicken always make me a feel a little hesitant. I am afraid that once I admit this I am opening myself up to teasing from others, making me not want to eat something I enjoy. I can imagine this experience is similar for Asian students, there are various types of Asian cuisine from various countries, and there are various ways to make them. Instead of embracing this extraordinary aspect of Asian culture, I’ve seen white people make jokes and mock others for the types of food they eat. Though it may seem like a small problem, for me I have, and I continue to struggle to accept and indulge in the things I truly love without feeling instantly humiliated.

            In the end of the yam scene the Narrator is no longer humiliated, “They’re my birthmark,” I said. “I yam what I yam”. The Narrator embraces all the roots and all that comes along with himself, a yam eater in this case. The connotations that come along with this identity no longer bother him. Instead he is so overcome by this freedom he tries to ignore the fullness of his stomach to extend this free feeling. I think this short scene in Invisible Man characterizes a lot of ideas about how a small thing, like eating a food you like, can be so meaningful in terms of the sense of freedom you may feel as an individual.

Norton's Truth

In Chapter 2 of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man, we meet Mr. Norton, one of the rich trustees the Narrator is responsible showing the campus to. When we are introduced to Norton, he conveys to the Narrator that he is a very involved and concerned partner of the college. Right off the bat he compares himself to the Founder. As we know from the sermon we receive from Barbee later on, the Founder is a highly praised figure, almost godlike. So the fact that Norton would build up such a comparison shows how highly he regard himself. Similarly to this Norton carries the white man’s burden throughout the time he spends with the Narrator. He believes that his contributions are what make the race as a whole successful.

Norton is very interested in seeing the old slave houses as if the college would prevent anyone from having to live in them or be a sharecropper anymore. Immediately Norton is disgusted by the idea of Trueblood’s situation. But as Trueblood describes to him the story in such openness and earnest, Norton somehow seems entranced by the horrifying tale. Instead of getting more appalled, he has the opposite reaction. As if he has just been enlightened by Trueblood’s experience. For Norton it seems as if he is learning everything he needs to know about the black people. This is why the Narrator (and the college) are so worried about the things “people like Trueblood” say. Somehow able to besmirch the entire race in one strange example. After meeting Trueblood and almost rewarding him for his storytelling, Norton suddenly becomes very weak. The meaning of this is very confusing to me. Though the Narrator characterizes the weakness as being heatstroke, it doesn’t really add up. But the real reason for Norton’s reaction could be a couple things. I feel it could represent the details of Trueblood’s story, so strange and disturbing that Norton couldn’t take it. It could also represent the idea that Norton is for the first time seeing that his influence over the college hasn’t seemed to really make an effect on anything. But the idea that he is in fact very ineffective is too much for Norton to handle.

At the Golden Day the Narrator understands that the last thing he wants this white man to see is the realities of the mental patients as well. Though you would think it would be assumed that a person who is “crazy” would not represent a whole race, the idea of that being a possibility is why the Narrator wouldn’t want Norton around.  Following this we get our first glance that Norton doesn’t like being shown or told the realities of the world and his privilege when talking to the Vet.

“Poor Stumblers, neither of you can see the other. To you he is a mark on the score-card of your achievement, a thing and not a man; a child, or even less-- a black amorphous thing. And you, for all your power, are not a man to him, but a God, force--”

Mr. Norton stood abruptly. “Let us go, young man” he said angrily.

“No listen. He believes in you as he believes in the beat of his heart. He believes in that great false wisdom taught slaves and pragmatists alike, that white is right. I can tell you his destiny. He’ll do your bidding, and for that his blindness is his chief asset. He’s your man, your friend. Your man and your destiny”

The Vet's speech angers Norton for reasons that seem unclear. The ideas that the Vets brings up are things doesn't want to hear, the type of thing no black "sane" person would ever say to white man. Norton, though seemingly affected by the words of the Vet, uses his insanity as a way to brush off everything he has been told. Therefore, avoiding at all cost any sense the reality of being someone in his position.

            Norton doesn’t realize the realities of what is going on with things right outside the college or even the college itself. The fact that the reader is never really told anything about the curriculum shows that it isn’t really important to the Narrator’s experience and story. Inside the college there are two types of people that we know of. There are students like the Narrator who aim only to please the white man. The Narrator believes that showing Norton his intelligence, diligence, and respect is what he is supposed to do. It is his job to treat the white man like so as his responsibility. It seems that originally the Narrator believes the white man is his superior and to be successful he must be treated as so. But as for the other types at the school, the Bledsoe types, they believe in something else altogether. Bledsoe aims to serve the white man only as a way to power, while he also undermines him. Bledsoe knows that by pretending to respect white men he can gain power, invisibly, without their knowledge and he becomes to be in the position where he feels he really controls them. Based on these two types that we have met it definitely shows Bledsoe is the more powerful.

Norton comes to the Narrator’s rescue when confronted by Bledsoe. But his reasons for doing so are unclear. Norton would want us to assume the Narrator’s belief, that Norton himself is just helping an innocent young boy. But from what we’ve seen from Norton he doesn’t typically do things that don’t provide for him any benefit to himself. I think his helping the Narrator is another way for Norton to reinforce the kind of white savior goodness that makes him feel better about what he’s seen and experienced with the Narrator during their drive.

            Overall I think Norton’s role in this book is to represent various ideas. Ellison through around many examples that the white man clearly is disillusioned in terms of his power, his effect, and his privilege. I think by showing these examples, Ellison is explaining to the reader that it is almost impossible for a white man like Norton to ever see the Narrator for who he is. Norton and men like him will forever be blinded by because they blinded by themselves. Ellison uses the vet to explain the way that these wealthy white men only see what they want and choose to see. No matter how visible the Narrator makes himself, he will never be able to cure Norton of his blindness towards him and his people.

My Invisibility Cloak

As I begin Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, I am astonished by the detail that the Narrator uses to explain his situation. He begins the book explaining to us not only that he is an invisible man but characterizes what that means for him. I feel that the narrator's description provokes a lot of imagery for the reader.

“In my hole in the basement there are exactly 1,369 lights. I’ve wired the entire ceiling, every inch of it.” and  “My hole is warm and full of light. Yes, full of light. I doubt if there is a brighter spot in all New York than this hole of mine, and I do not exclude Broadway. Or the Empire State Building on a photographer’s dream night”.

The Narrator relates his home to these bright, exciting, and even dreamlike settings. Meanwhile the irony being that in such brightness he is really the opposite of invisible. For me these images help contribute to the fact that the narrator himself is so clearly not invisible, not literally nor in the way he expresses himself. By extension this presents the idea that the speaker himself is not actually invisible but it truly is the eyes or others that make him so.

Based off of my experience reading the prologue of Invisible Man, I feel I can connect to the narrator in my personal experiences in various ways. Most relatable I would say is in my age. Many adolescents I think can relate to the fact that we feel kind of invisible. Because we are still children, we are automatically inexperienced, immature and innocent. On the other hand we are also nearing adulthood, which means that we are simultaneously expected to take on responsibility, and independence. The childish part of us is easy for adults to ignore, we are just children that are to be played with or entertained. But because we are also transitioning to adulthood we as teenagers feel that we should be treated as adults. This is a very simplified reason for why so often teenagers rebel, they desperately yearn to be seen and acknowledged as an individual.  Therefore when I think about my identity as a teen, until I start conversation with an adult I feel they have a hard time seeing me as more than a kid.

In terms of invisibility, I can also relate to the author in the context of my gender. As a woman I feel often feel like I am supposed to be invisible. In discussion I often feel I have to go a long way to be heard. Even in conversation I feel like I am often interrupted or ignored when I speak my mind. When I do speak up and shout loud enough for the “sleep walkers” to hear me they awake very angrily from their daze as the narrator describes. They are disgusted by my matter of fact tone and make me feel bad for speaking my mind. These effects have made me feel as if no matter what I do, I’ll be seen as a woman therefore meaning that I must be docile, quiet, small and most importantly invisible to stay in my place.

The final example of invisibility I can relate to the narrator with, and possibly the most prominent in my life is my identity as a black person. I think Ellison definitely focuses on this aspect of invisibility in the prologue. Though the narrator never right out says that race is the reason he is seen as invisible, it is alluded to.

“What did I do to be so black and blue”

The narrator seems to suggest he is nothing more than a bunch of predetermined actions based on his race, a stereotype and that makes him feel blue. As a black person I often feel that I am expected to fulfill all of these stereotypes. If I don’t, I’m acting white. If I do, I’m being black and almost worse because it is synonymous to being ghetto, ignorant, crazy, and what seems like an endless amount of set ideas about who I must be. Figuring out which direction I should go is a constant internal struggle. I feel like the choice between betraying myself and assimilating or being tortured in my own identity isn’t really a choice at all. The similarities I feel that I have with the narrator in terms of experience shows me just how invisible black people have been and continue to be in this country. No matter what I do, I cannot stop the prejudice of my children, or my people. No matter how I act, I cannot make you see me as a human instead of a social construct.

In combination, I have to deal with all three of these aspects of invisibility in my life. As a young black woman, I often feel invisible. But as for my future, I do not know what to do about that. Of course I will not always be young, so this suspended state of adolescence will pass. But as for my identity as a black female, that will most likely never change. Does this mean I should take the same road as the narrator? Live my life accepting the fact that invisibility is inevitable for me? Based on what I’ve read in the prologue the narrator seems confident that there is no “overcoming” his reality. As for me, I will continue to live my life as I have. But I will try to make note of those times when I do feel invisible (not to pretend they do exist as I am so accustomed) and continue to read Invisible Man for what may lead to a possible solution even if only temporary, to being invisible.